How to Write IEP Goals for Empathy

Morning meeting: a classmate tears up during the read-aloud. Q.Z. keeps reading the next line from the shared script, then asks when snack starts. The counselor’s note says Q.Z. was “not mean,” just off the moment. The parent’s question at the conference is sharper—does Q.Z. notice when someone is hurt and respond in a way that helps? The signed IEP still says Q.Z. will show empathy with adult support. Support is not a score.

Strong IEP goals for empathy name what Q.Z. will do when another person shows distress or need (label the feeling you see, offer a taught comfort action, use a caring phrase, check in after a pause), where staff can observe it, and how many opportunities must meet the mastery line. Same compliance frame as math or reading: condition, behavior, criteria, baseline. Counseling lessons, social skills group, and co-taught morning meeting only count when they feed the rubric or checklist you wrote into the IEP. For keeping probes aligned all year, see IEP progress monitoring.

Case managers, counselors, classroom teachers, and SLPs draft these goals in district software. Short-term objectives and benchmark goals vary by state—confirm your compliance manual before you lock language.

What counts as empathy on an IEP?

On an IEP, empathy means observable caring responses toward another person’s feeling or situation—not a character trait and not “being sweet.” Teams usually target noticing distress (pause, look, name what you see), verbal empathy (caring phrase, feeling label, brief validation), and comfort actions (offer tissue, sit nearby, get teacher, use a taught check-in script) after instruction.

IDEA requires measurable annual goals linked to present levels (34 CFR §300.320(a)(2)). Empathy goals work when the condition names the routine (morning meeting debrief, counseling empathy lesson, partner reflection after a social story), the behavior names what Q.Z. will say or do for someone else—not “understand feelings”—and the criteria name rubric scores, correct responses, or percent of opportunities across trials.

Short answer for search snippets: A strong empathy IEP goal states the setting, the caring response (label peer’s feeling, use a taught comfort phrase, complete a check-in step), the scoring rule (3+ on an empathy rubric, 4 of 5 opportunities), prompt limits, and a baseline from the same tool you will use at reporting time.

Empathy is not perspective taking (inference about thoughts and intent), not emotional regulation (Q.Z.’s own calm-down plan), and not generic social skills unless you score response to distress apart from greetings. Split charts when present levels show both. See the IEP goal bank for social skills for related frames.

Start with present levels you can score

Before you open a goal bank, write present levels in the same units your empathy rubric or opportunity log uses:

• Skill (notice distress, label feeling, caring phrase, comfort action, follow-up check-in).
• Materials and setting (read-aloud debrief, counseling circle, video clip with pause, structured partner reflection).
• Baseline performance (rubric level, opportunities met per week, correct feeling labels per set).
• Prompts and supports during baseline (feeling chart, empathy script card, counselor model, AAC message).

Example PLAAFP snippet (initials only): On 10/2, during weekly counseling empathy lessons and 2-minute morning-meeting debriefs after social stories, Q.Z. labeled a peer’s or character’s feeling from visible cues (scored 3+ on the district empathy rubric) in 2 of 6 opportunities across four sessions. Q.Z. used a taught caring phrase or comfort action (offer help, sit nearby, get adult) in 1 of 5 debriefs; verbal prompt was needed on 4 of 5 sessions.

If PLAAFP only says “limited empathy,” block one observation cycle with a named rubric before the team signs an annual criterion. Federal law cares about measurable, not the SMART acronym—though SMART IEP goals can help teams argue at the table.

Baseline collection must match the partners, materials, and scoring rules you will use in March—not a different clip, a looser definition of “caring,” or a rubric nobody uses in class.

Separate empathy from perspective taking, regulation, and social goals

Stacked annual goals break data collection. Comforting a peer who is upset is not the same as stating what a partner might think, and neither is the same as using a zone chart when Q.Z. is frustrated.

Split example for Q.Z.:

1. Empathic response to distress: During counseling empathy lessons and structured morning-meeting debriefs, when a peer or story character shows distress (defined on the rubric), Q.Z. will label the feeling and use a taught caring phrase or comfort action scored 3 or higher on the district empathy rubric in 4 of 5 opportunities per week, as charted by counseling and classroom staff, by the annual IEP date. Baseline: 2 of 6 opportunities on 10/2. Each line gets its own data column. Inference stays on a separate perspective-taking goal when needed. For report language, see sample IEP progress reports for social skills and what to include in an IEP progress narrative.

Pick one empathic skill and name the teaching routine

One annual goal should measure one primary construct: noticing distress, labeling another’s feeling, using a caring phrase, offering a comfort action, or follow-up check-in—not “empathy” as a blob. If Q.Z. needs labeling and comfort actions, write two goals unless your district uses a single benchmark goal with separately scored components.

Name structured routines in the condition line. Hallway drama is hard to staff; a posted debrief after morning meeting with a rubric is not. If you promise data when “any peer is upset anywhere,” you will not collect it.

Write the measurable empathy goal

Use the same condition–behavior–criteria skeleton as any measurable goal: setting and materials, observable caring response, rubric or correct-count criteria with weekly trials, annual timeframe. Spell out who charts, whether prompts reset the trial, and what counts as a valid feeling label or comfort action. “Be more empathetic” is not a criterion. Repeat the scoring tool in PLAAFP, the data sheet, and the progress report.

Sample IEP goals for empathy (adapt, do not copy)

Templates only. Swap setting, materials, and numbers for Q.Z. or your student.

Elementary — label feeling and comfort action after social story
During weekly counseling empathy lessons with social stories and a 2-minute class debrief, when a peer or character shows distress per the rubric definition, Q.Z. will state a feeling label from visible cues and complete one taught comfort action (caring phrase, offer help, or get adult) scored 3 or higher on the district empathy rubric, in 4 of 5 opportunities per week, as charted by the counselor and teacher, by the annual IEP date. Baseline: 2 of 6 opportunities on 10/2.

Middle school — empathic check-in after partner stress
During structured partner reflections after cooperative tasks, when the assigned peer shows stress or disappointment (rubric-defined), Q.Z. will use the taught empathic check-in script (acknowledge feeling + one support offer) scored 3 or higher on the empathy rubric, in 3 of 4 reflections per week, as logged by classroom staff, by the annual IEP date. Baseline: 1 of 4 reflections on 10/2.

Read each sample goal aloud at the meeting. If someone asks “How will you know?” point to the rubric or opportunity log—not whether Q.Z. is a “kind kid.”

Accommodations, prompts, and the condition line

List feeling charts, script cards, and prompt levels that apply during the observation. If Q.Z. met the criterion only with a full verbal model, say so in baseline and criterion. Cross-check IEP progress notes for students with autism so empathic responses are not double-counted. For document order, see how to write an IEP step by step.

Common mistakes on empathy goals

Watch for “improve empathy” with no caring behavior defined, goals that mix conversation fluency and empathic response in one sentence, unstructured settings with no observation plan, rubrics referenced but not attached, and trait language (“uncaring,” “selfish”) instead of scored actions. Fix wording before signatures—vague goals make compliance reporting harder.

What I’d do Monday

1. Pull one student—use Q.Z. if that is your next conference—and check whether the empathy goal names materials, caring behavior, and weekly trials.
2. Run one social story debrief or counseling circle with the rubric you plan to use all year; score labeling and comfort actions on separate lines if both are needs.
3. Split any combined “social skills + empathy” goal when present levels show different probes.
4. Share the empathy log with gen-ed, counseling, and para staff so observations happen before the portal opens.
5. Save a personal template with your team’s condition phrase so you stop pasting bank language without baselines.

FAQ

What is a measurable empathy IEP goal?

It states where you observe, what routine or materials you use, what Q.Z. will do for another person’s distress (label feeling, caring phrase, comfort action), how you score it (rubric, correct count, percent of opportunities), and how many sessions or trials count—anchored to baseline data from the same tool you will use for reporting.

How are empathy goals different from perspective-taking goals?

Perspective-taking goals target inference—what someone else might think, know, or intend—and adjustment after that inference. Empathy goals target caring responses when distress or need is visible: naming the feeling, validating briefly, or using a taught comfort step. Teams may write both when present levels support separate charts.

Can empathy goals be measured with AAC?

Yes. Name the system and message type in present levels and the condition line. Score the functional empathic response (selecting a feeling icon for a peer, generating a caring phrase on the device)—not navigation alone unless that is the agreed skill.

Should empathy goals live on the counseling IEP or the classroom IEP?

Wherever the IEP team documents social-emotional needs—often counseling when lessons are co-taught, sometimes the classroom goal when morning meeting debriefs are the probe. The case manager still owns the document; the person who charts should be clear from the goal language.

Can I use unstructured recess for empathy data?

Only when staff, boundaries, and opportunity definitions are written in the IEP. Most teams use counseling lessons, social stories, or structured debriefs because empathic responses are hard to score mid-chase.

How often should I collect empathy data for quarterly reports?

Match the goal’s trial language and service schedule—weekly during empathy lessons or debrief routines is typical; quarterly reports summarize the trend. Whatever you write in the goal is what you owe the record.

Sources

• eCFR: §300.320 measurable annual goals
• U.S. Department of Education: IDEA statute and regulations index
• CASEL: What is SEL? (empathy as a teachable social-emotional skill—adapt probes to your district rubric)
• Your counseling and speech-language rubrics for empathic response, feeling identification, and comfort scripts

This piece is about goals and compliance, not shortcuts. When quarterly reporting opens and the progress narrative field is staring back at you, that is where IEP Progress fits: paste your session notes and rubric tallies, get a first draft of the narrative, edit every line, then copy into Frontline, PowerSchool, or your LEA portal. It does not draft your PLAAFP, pick service minutes, or choose Q.Z.’s mastery line. Start free if the narrative—not the goal table—is what eats your planning period (three narratives per month, one student profile, initials only, no credit card). More on how it works at IEP Progress.

Casey Holt, M.Ed., is a special education teacher and case manager. Student examples use initials only. General guidance, not legal advice—confirm requirements with your district.